These Chains That Bind Us
by the wings of words
Summary: NatsumexMikanxRuka Its been 2 years since Natsume vanished and Mikan was mysteriously released by the ESP. What will happen to Mikan and Ruka's blossoming relationship when Natsume suddenly comes back? And what has Natsume been doing these past 2 years?
1. Prologue: These Memories that Bind Us

[NatsumexMikanxRuka] Its been 2 years since Mikan was mysteriously released by the Elementary School Principal and many things have changed. When she returned, Natsume had vanished without a trace and no one knew or could tell Mikan where he was no matter how desperately she asked. Now fast forward 2 years to the present. Ruka has been Mikan's support all these years in place of Natsume, and it has blossomed into an actual relationship. Just when Mikan thinks she had forgotten her scars from the past, however, Natsume suddenly returns to Gakuen Alice, but he's come back a different person. Where has Natsume been all these years? What will happen to Mikan and Ruka's relationship now that Nastume is back? And what of Mikan's still unexplained release from the Elementary School Principal's grasp 2 years ago?

**These Chains that Bind Us**

**Note~!: I intended for the prologue to be a counterpart to Chapter 141 of the manga where Mikan gets locked up at HQ

_~Prologue~These Memories that Bind Us_

_Many of my memories from two years ago are fuzzy now...Too many sad things…Too many happy things...but I'll never forget that night. _

_The very last time we met._

"MR. BEAAAAAR! Look! The snow is falling! And on Christmas Eve too!"

The emotionless stuffed bear refused to change his gaze to the oddly overexcited, bouncing girl sitting next to him. Instead, he continued to stare out the window into the snowy distance.

"Wouldn't it be nice? To spend Christmas Eve at the Christmas Ball with everyone….just like last year…..I…really would like..to…"

The bear finally turned to the girl. Tears seemed to overflow the brims of her eyes and endlessly stream down her face. Upon seeing such a bright, young girl break down hysterically like this, the bear instantly and almost reflexively found himself hugging the sobbing girl as tight as he could.

The snowfall began to get worse.

For some reason, he could sympathize with her. This feeling. Yes. He, too, constantly lives with that deep and throbbing pain of wanting so badly to be by someone's side but being unable to do so. That feeling of knowing that no matter how hard you try it just won't be good enough to restore everything back to normal.

"I know it's shameful to cry as much as I am right now..but I really want to see.." Just then the snowfall worsened into a blizzard, making it harder to make out her words between sobs. A lock turned and the door suddenly opened. A small, boyish figure appeared from the shadows of the dimly lit hallway. It was the elementary school principal. His gaze drifted over to the sobbing girl hugging the stuffed bear. Bear glanced up at him out of the corner of his eye and saw a smirk creep up the corners of his mouth. "I'll offer you a deal if you'd like. Under certain conditions, of course."

The girl barely whimpered out a sob-filled "What do you want?"

"Don't be such a brat." The principal chuckled but then regained his usual serious composure. Checking his watch he exclaimed, "Looks like you should be able to make it in time for the Christmas Ball masquerade dance."

"…You mean I…I can finally leave this place?"

"What you thought I'd let you go just like that? No, like I said before, I need someone with an Alice as exceedingly rare as yours to get these Alice stones out of me." Mr. Bear saw the principal's eyes narrow schemingly.

"Ah, but my condition is that you return here _immediately after it ends_."

The bear tried to stop her but the girl shot up and looked the principal straight in the eye. "I'll go! I'll do it! I don't care about the conditions…If I can at least see them again..even if it's only for a little while..I'd be happy." The principal smirked again then snapped his fingers. Two maids came into the room carrying a white snow-angel dress and a white mask. The principal stopped before he exited the room. "Oh and one more thing…" The girl looked up at him again.

"It's futile to even attempt to escape….so don't even think about it. Remember the deal. The Fuukitai will be all over the place watching your every move anyway so you shouldn't say much either…if you want to prolong what little time you have over there…my Cinderella." He smugly laughed as he left the room.

After she had changed into the sparkling, white dress and the maids had left, she took out her pigtails and let her hair down. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Why am I still crying? I..should show the others my smiling face.." Mr. Bear helped brush her hair out as she placed her hands over her face.

_You look three times as ugly when you're crying_.

She quickly wiped away her tears, slipped on the mask, and silently ran out to meet the Fuukitai who would escort her to the dance.

The girl stopped just before entering the door, remembering the many memories that were made at the Christmas Ball last year. So much…So much has changed since then. She had one objective, however—to find everyone and let them know how much she missed them. But there was one person she especially had to find and properly talk to. The Fuukitai pushed her in and the sound of beautiful classical music filled her ears. Many of the students whispered to each other because of the unknown girl who had just entered the room.

_Hey, who's that girl with the long brown hair?…Why'd she come so late? She didn't even help out with the set up of the ball. How rude. Little brat._

Many of the students started to cause a ruckus by obstructing her way. They got even angrier when she wouldn't respond to them. She knew that the Fuukitai would take her away immediately if she spoke, and she didn't want that. They pushed her to the ground and kicked her. She wanted to call out to her friends, to him. She reached out in the direction of the giant tree on the other side of the room, silently mouthing his name.

"Ne, Imai-san, they said there's some strange girl who just arrived…Do you think it's…" Permy's hand shakily covered her mouth. "No way…" Hotaru immediately dropped the donut she was eating and left to search the room hoping, just hoping, that it really was her. "Shouda-san….." Permy turned her head to find Ruka frozen in his spot. His face cringed in a way that made him look like a lost puppy. He wouldn't move. Permy's head dropped as she smiled while wiping away tears. "I've actually been thinking about this for while….but I'll be performing my last duty now as president of the Natsume and Ruka fan club—who exist to bring happiness to the wonderful Hyuuga Natsume and Nogi Ruka of Class B." She pushed him towards the crowd of people supposedly gathering around the unknown girl.

"_Go._"

"Who do you think you are?" The girl's mask almost fell off due to one student who tried to rip off her mask. She managed to slip away from the angry crowd because the Fuukitai had stepped in and stopped it before it had escalated. They would not allow anyone to know her true identity. She frantically wiped away her tears as she ran to the giant tree at the other end of the room.

_I'm sure he'll be there….Waiting for me…I'm sure of it.._

The classical music that once filled the girl's ears now transitioned into a slow, melancholic piano piece. She stopped when she had reached the bottom of the tree. Her head lowered and her tears only worsened. _This isn't good…If I can't even speak to them and express my feelings because of the Fuukitai…I should at least greet them with a smile._ She wiped away her tears and punched the air. "Osu!"

"Imai-san!" Hotaru turned around to see Ruka running after her. "Do you really think it's her? I…We need to tell him." Hotaru stopped in her tracks. "Baka…Can't you feel it? Mikan's brightly-shining presence. Though it may be dim as a result of all that's happened to her, I know my best friend is somewhere here. …I'm sure he has noticed as well."

_Osu!_

A familiar voice in the distance. "Imai-san did you hear that?" Ruka and Hotaru instantly turned their gaze in the direction of the voice. Just then, through a small separation in the crowd across the room, they saw a young brown-haired girl carefully wiping away her tears and punching the air. Without a word, Ruka had already started frantically running in that direction. Hotaru whispered her name and ran towards her as well.

The girl knew she had little time but seeing this tree caused her memories from last year's ball to come alive. She started to remember that kiss. Last year…it was her first kiss with him. She carefully touched her lips as she finally looked up at the tree, hoping…longing…to see him.

Except…

He wasn't there. All her feelings completely burst at that point as she collapsed onto the floor crying. She was running out of time. Just then, a boy grasped her hand and pulled her towards the center of the room. Through her tears, she could only make out a black, masked figure, but she knew immediately it was him. She could feel the familiar, fiery warmth pulsating from his hands. She wanted to call out his name so badly, but she didn't want to be taken away from him by the Fuukitai. It seemed he somehow knew of her situation with the Fuukitai as well. She gripped it tighter. _If only time could stand still like this…_He stopped as she reached her hands around his neck and hugged him closely. She could feel the heat emanating from his neck as she buried her head in it. He turned around and rested his forehead against hers. She could see the burning resolve in his eyes. The boy suddenly started coughing violently. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain pierce her in the core of her heart. "Don't cry…I'll…I'll definitely find a way to save you." She silently sobbed as she felt hot tears run down her face at the sound of his voice. As the music started to climax he twirled her around and they began to dance. _Such a short moment of happiness…I was happy to be able to spend it with you… _

Ruka and Hotaru watched as the two danced. Ruka felt tears unconsciously begin to fall as he watched the two who were silently dancing. A sad, bittersweet feeling began to fill his heart. Although she was here for now, he knew that the principal wouldn't have set her free just like that. But what could he be scheming? He knew that they'd only have this short amount of time with each other. _I'll find a way to make you two meet again. I will._

The clock struck at the hour and one could hear bells tolling in the distance. She felt the grip of his hands tighten around her fingers. "I'll always be with you…even if I can never stand by your side again….

…Mikan." Just then a single tear slowly slid down his cheek. The Fuukitai, upon hearing the bells as ordered, grabbed the girl to take her back to the elementary school principal.

"Natsume!" The girl cried out desperately reaching her hand back out to him. The Fuukitai carrying her must have had the Teleportation Alice because the next thing she knew she was outside the building where she was being detained. The elementary school principal was standing at the entrance smirking.

"Having an Alice that sucks the life out of you in exchange for vast amounts of power…

It's just too bad isn't it?"


	2. Chapter 1: Reunion

_~Chapter 1~Reunion_

_When I woke up from my dream, it was all too clear_

_That your presence was nothing but a dream_

_The tears in my eyes told me._

_The countless starry sky is still here now, forever—even if you are no longer here._

_I won't cry anymore because the sky I saw before with you was truly beautiful._

_

* * *

_

"Ruka-pyon~!" Mikan waved down from her dorm room window at the smiling blonde-haired boy waiting for her in front of her dorm. "Good morning Sakura!" She quickly ran out to meet him like they usually did when they had school. He grasped her hand then they started walking towards their classroom. For a moment, the two silently walked. "Sakura….Did you have that nightmare again?" Mikan slowly nodded. Ruka gripped her hand tighter. She bit her lip forlornly. "I…no matter how much I try to suppress my memories…I could never forget the fact that it really happened and how he never-" "Sakura." Ruka stopped her before she could finish speaking and looked her straight in the eyes. The wind started to pick up and whistle loudly. He wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her gently on the forehead. "Sakura…you know…it was your smile that changed something in all of us from the moment you met us four years ago…So please smile…It's our class' first day at the high school building and you'll probably meet your uncle there. You don't want him to see you like this again, right? Plus I…I can't stand to see Sakura not smile. I…want to protect Sakura's smile at all costs."

"Ruka-pyon."

"Eh?"

"I love you"

She smiled at him; he smiled back. They both continued to wander down that winding path with the wind still howling at their backs. Those sad, nostalgic memories…it's better to forget them rather than be always miserable while dwelling on them….isn't it?

_It's been two years now... Is your body condition still worsening? Where are you now? What have you been doing? Not a day goes by when I don't think about these things. I'm sure it's the same with Sakura. You know when you left…I swore not to tell her anything about it, but do you know how hard it was to see her cry every single day and to not be able to do anything? It was a while before she could even show up at school again. Please, if you're still alive out there…please take better care of your health._

"Ruka-pyon? ….Ruka-pyon!" Mikan held both of his hands loosely in hers. "Are you okay? What are you thinking about?" Ruka started shaking his head free of his thoughts. "It's nothing Sakura. I was worrying again…I just-" He couldn't find the words to describe his feelings. Mikan suddenly ran ahead and turned around. While smiling brightly at him, she gently said, "Ruka-pyon! ...always stay by my side."

Ruka smiled and moved forward towards Mikan. Suddenly he froze and his eyes widened as he looked past Mikan up the path ahead.

_..._

_..Why?.._

…_._

"…..Natsume?"

Mikan's eyes got big and quickly filled with tears. She slowly turned around to face what was behind her. A familiar figure from the past that looked beat up and in a great deal of pain was limping up the path. A ghost, perhaps? Highly unlikely. His dark hair which hung in front of his scratched up face was ruffled in a few places, and he was wearing a dirty white button-up shirt with long, black pants. She whispered his name and found herself running full speed into his arms. She felt as if her eyes were starting to deceive her, but she wanted to make sure if this was a farce; in case her inner conscious was just taunting her just as it had with the continuous nightmares she had been having. She couldn't believe that what she had been searching for in these past two years was really right in front of her eyes. The shadows she had been chasing seemed to fade away. Her past seemed to cease haunting her. All her feelings—painful, bittersweet, nostalgic feelings—seemed to spill out from her heart. The blood quickly rushed to her cheeks. Chills ran up and down her spine and her heart began to race extremely fast. Everything in her mind seemed to just go blank. There was one thing which she had been suppressing in the back of her mind that now completely took over all her thoughts. She practically crashed into him and they both fell backwards onto the ground. He smiled softly and lifted her head up to wipe her tears then whispered…

"I'm back."

He hugged her so tightly with what little strength he had left that she felt his silent sobs rise up and down from his chest. In that moment, their hearts seemed to connect as one. Nothing in the world could describe all the feelings that were racing through her mind at that moment. Hot tears began to stain his shirt. She felt so weak in his arms. She softly punched at his chest while repeatedly calling him an idiot. "I…was so worried…" Her tears wouldn't stop flowing. "When I was released and you weren't there…I didn't know what to do..." She gripped his shirt and cried out. "You're…real…right? You aren't a ghost? You're really…Natsume?" A hint of a smile shone on his lips as he brushed her hair out of her face. His deep red eyes exuded a gentle warmth. "Yeah. I'm back…Mikan." Her eyes widened in happiness. She felt all her troubles and worries immediately disappear. The sound of his voice cleansed her heart and washed away the great amount of grief she had been building up in the past couple years. "You left me alone for two years.._two whole years_…Baka! Baka! Baka! Natsume you're really an idiot! I thought you had died!" She continued to hit his chest in frustration. Suddenly, Natsume began coughing violently. He rolled onto his side while gripping at his chest. "Natsume?...Natsume?" A congealed crimson liquid stained her hands and her new high school uniform. It started dripping from his lips to the floor. She took a better look at his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his eyes were deeply sunken into his face. Her hands shakily rose in front of her face. She saw the blood on her hands and screamed. "What's?…-" "Sakura!" Ruka suddenly grabbed her wrist. "He-" Natsume coughed up more of the crimson liquid onto the floor and struggled to look up at him. "Ruka…don't…" Mikan felt her eyes begin to lose focus as her glance wavered from her blood-stained hands to the dying boy lying on the floor. "But Natsume you-" Ruka began to plead. Natsume seemed to be using his last ounce of strength. "Ruka…thank you..for taking care of..Mikan." His eyes slowly closed. "Natsume!" They both yelled. Mikan ran to him and grabbed his hand. It was cold; much unlike how it always felt in her recurring dreams. "Natsume…Natsume…Natsume!" She felt a giant rift break her heart into pieces as she watched him suffer in pain. Ruka put his head close to Natsume's chest and held it there for several seconds. "Sakura…he's alive…but barely.." His voice was shaking.

* * *

The hospital was dead silent except for the slow, periodic beeps coming from the heart rate machine. The sounds of someone weeping echoed throughout the halls.

"Here, Sakura." Ruka handed the despondent girl a white styrofoam cup filled with water. "Why..." She murmured. "Eh?" Ruka could barely make out what she was mumbling through her tears. "Why won't they let us in the room? What's happening to him? What are they doing to him? What do I not know? Why won't-" She lowered her head. "Why won't you tell me anything?" Ruka looked away as his face cringed with guilt. He clenched his fists as a faint memory arose in his mind.

_'Ruka, I have to find them.'_

_'But Natsume...you're body right now..you can't!'_

_'I know-'_

_'You don't even know where she is! Sakura's still somewhere here at the academy...Why do you have to go all the way there to see them now?'_

_He chuckled. 'I..don't have much time left. That girl...She...You know she wouldn't stop crying forever if something happened...That's why...I have to do this. Even if I don't trust any of these new Experimental Alices or Shiki...it's the only chance I've got.'_

_'Natsume-'_

_'Ruka...Don't tell her anything...and...please take care of her for me.' Natsume started to head towards the high school building time warp._

_Ruka stepped forward. 'Natsume!' Natsume stopped. 'I'll never stop looking for her!...I'll find a way to bring her back...so that the two of you can meet again.' Ruka clutched his Usagi tight against his chest._

_Natsume turned around, looked at Ruka dead in the eyes, and smiled with determination._

_And then he was gone._

Back then Ruka was in a tight spot between the two people he loved. _How can I protect both of them at the same time?.._ Such thoughts clouded his mind ever since then. His bitter resolve cut deep into his heart. He began to hate himself more and more every day because he had to lie to the girl he loves. _I will be the umbrella to catch your tears as they fall..._

"But you know Ruka-pyon...I believe in you...The Ruka-pyon I know wouldn't act this way without a reason.." She swallowed her tears and forced out a sad, melancholic smile. "Sakura..." Ruka could see the pain festering in her eyes. He sat down next to her and wiped the blood off of her hands. She quietly rested her head upon his shoulder, but he could feel her lukewarm tears run down his sleeve_. _"Sakura...it's okay. You can go ahead and cry on my shoulder. It's not good...to hold in such sad feelings any longer. " She sobbed loudly. The flow of tears down his sleeve increased.

Later, the door to Natsume's room finally opened. A tall, brown-haired young man walked out. As soon as he noticed Ruka and Mikan sitting nearby, his steps quickened down the hall. Mikan wiped her tears away and suddenly stepped forward towards him. Ruka clutched his Usagi tight against his chest. "Shiki-san!" The young man stopped dead in his tracks but did not turn around. "Shiki-san...why can't you look at me?" But he couldn't. He couldn't bear to look at Mikan knowing what he had done to her. He was the one who told everyone to keep quiet around Mikan if she ever asked about Natsume. He kept everything he knew a secret around her; his guilt and her voice echoed throughout his dismal heart. "Ruka. Take her back to class. Don't bother going into his room for now—there's a barrier around it for now until we finish treating him. I...I promise you'll see him again. Besides, you guys can't miss your first day at the high school." His voice was cold and distant. Ruka stood up. "Shiki-san..." But he had already started walking away. He suddenly stopped before he opened the exit door at the end of the hallway. He gripped the door handle with a pained look on his face. "Don't tell anyone about today. Go on as if nothing happened." Mikan clenched her fists. "Why are you keeping so many secrets?" Shiki paused for several seconds then lowered his head, pushed the handle all the way, and left.

* * *

When Mikan and Ruka reached their new high school classroom, they stopped before they entered the door. Mikan looked up and admired the sign above the door. _High School Class A._ She had been at Gakuen Alice for four yearS already. Those four years...had such an impact on her. She began to reflect on all her memories from these past four years. In all the rush and mix-up of emotions that stirred her heart, she felt a strange peace standing in the quiet hallway. Though she felt an intense longing to go back to the hospital and see Natsume, somehow she figured she needed to pause, take a deep breath, and take things one step at a time. There was also the problem of the barrier around his room anyway. Taking a deep breath in, she smiled and looked next to her at the boy she had grown up with here whose hand felt so warm through all the coldness surrounding her. Ruka smiled at her and squeezed her hand while opening the door. "Let's go."

_Such a strange peace...I can't really place my finger on it...but it's like..what's it called...Oh that's right!_

_A calm before the storm!_

Suddenly, a lightning bolt struck within inches of her feet. "SA-KU-RAAA!" _...I spoke too soon._

"Jin-Jin!" She was shocked that her old teacher from back in elementary school was teaching at the high school as well. "I was just substituting today and expected you to have changed since last school year...but to think that you're still dragging Ruka down with you...Sit down and DON'T BE LATE AGAIN!" He scowled and went to resume teaching. "Sorry, Jinno-sensei.." Ruka scratched his head. Jinno looked at Mikan out of the corner of his eye. He expected the usual and classic Mikan retort where she puffed her cheeks out and angrily argued back..but this time she didn't. He sensed something was up but went back to teaching. Mikan and Ruka went to sit in the back next to Hotaru. She skeptically looked at the two because she felt a strange vibe emanating from them just like Jinno had felt as well. Permy leaned over from the desk adjacent to theirs. "Psssst! Sakura! Where did you two lovebirds go that made you so late? I won't forgive you if you ruin Ruka's star ranking like you almost did last year when you almost ruined the school festival!"

"...Students who talk during class will be _SEVERELY_ PUNISHED." Just then Jinno gave the four of them the death glare while holding his wand which was emanating electricity. "Fine don't respond Sakura!" She hissed and turned away. Inside, however, Permy could tell something was wrong with both of them. It was indescribable but those who had noticed had known Ruka and Mikan so long that they instantly could tell that something had happened. Mikan just continued to sit there and stare blankly into space, however. _That's right...Ruka-pyon has always been there to clean up after my messes, talk to me when I'm feeling lonely, and to catch my tears. I really burden him sometimes, but he continues to always show me his smile day after day. I should feel so grateful and lucky to have someone like him by my side._

And so the day continued similary. Ruka and Mikan would attempt to be themselves and smile and laugh along with everyone else, but more and more of their friends began to notice_. _No one dared to question them, though—not even Hotaru. She knew Mikan would tell her if she could, or at least when the time was right. Regardless, she, as well as everyone else, had faith in them. When the school day came to a close, Mikan and Ruka walked together back to their dorms. "Sakura...You've barely said anything all day...I'm sure everyone's taken a note of it already. They're not used to seeing the non-smiling Sakura from two years ago that they tried to forget. So...please smile, okay?"

"Ruka-pyon..."

"Eh?"

"He's really back." Just then her voice had the most sorrowful tone to it.

"Sakura..." Ruka stepped closer to her. "We'll go see him together tomorrow, okay?" Her hands flew up to her face and he heard her start sobbing. "I know it would make Natsume happy...if you were smiling happily like you always do when we go see him together tomorrow. So...please smile, okay?"Ruka extended his hand out to her.

Her sobs intensified. She pushed Ruka's hand away and ran into the dormitory. He stood there with a pained look on his face. _She's really blaming herself..She knows..._

_She knows he's dying.

* * *

_

Mikan laid crying in her bed while clutching her blanket tight against her aching chest. She regretted leaving Ruka like that, but she didn't want to burden him anymore, or so she thought. "Natsu...Natsume...You idiot..What have you been doing all this time?...Those wounds all over your body...The Black Ops missions you hated so much have ceased and yet you're still like this...Why are you putting yourself through so much pain?" She cried out_. _

_Meow._

She rubbed her swollen eyes and wiped her tears away. "What was that?.."

_Meow_~

She got up and found her way to the window where the noise was coming from. She peered outside and no one was around. Suddenly, the wind picked up heavily and whistled really loudly. She shut her eyes because of all the dust that was stirred up by the wind. When she finally opened them again, a black silhouette had appeared outside on the balcony that was leaning on the railing. Her eyes widened and her hands flew up to her mouth. She slowly walked forward while crying all the way. She felt a huge lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow for the life of her. She couldn't understand or even comprehend what was going on. As she approached the figure covered by the darkness of the night, she felt her suspicions get confirmed. She froze and looked straight into his crimson-red eyes.

_..._

_..._

_..  
_

"...Natsume?"

_

* * *

~Author's Note:_ This is really weird. I ship Natsume and Mikan like hardcore but I've written a lot of RukaxMikan fluff in this chapter. Don't worry guys~ As you can probably guess from the ending of this chapter, we're about to find out hear from Natsume himself about what's happened in his world in the past two years! ^^


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